When I rule the world:

  • All marketing services companies and clients will stop work at 4pm every Wednesday to allow for a mid-week breather.
  • All marketing trade magazines will include a ‘name and shame’ section citing bad pitch practice and unreasonable client demands.
  • There will be a separate section in all the above magazines called ‘whoever thought that was a good idea?’ for agency management.
  • The IPA, ISP, APG and MRS will all include free technical support as part of their membership fee.
  • TGI will produce an easy to use, web-accessible, affordable version
  • Mintel reports will refer to the last twelve months of activity in the category and not what happened two years ago.
  • All agencies will produce a ‘freelancer information pack’, explaining how to log onto their wireless network, where the loos are, office coffee mug hierarchy and the location of the nearest sandwich shop.
  • All agency, client and publisher accounts departments will pay their invoices within 30 days or see the total amount rise by 20% a week. ‘Loosing’ or otherwise mislaying the invoice in question will be no excuse.

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