A very cynical view of both sides of the pitch process (written by someone who probably needs a holiday)

The agency:

• I’m sure they hid the brief somewhere in this 82 page document
• Did you know that pizza is a major food group?
• Find what we did last time and change the client logo
• There is a Hell and it’s name is Powerpoint
• Yes, they do run trains at 5am
• Time waits for no pitch
• Hurry Up and Wait…and wait…and wait

The client:

• Behold, I am an all-powerful beauty content judge.  You may bow.
• If I make the wrong decision, I may lose my job, so I’ll go for a tram smash of all three pitches to cover my back.
• You’re on the roster!  No, I don’t actually want you to do any work for me right now…
• Why can’t I use your Big Idea but get my cheaper agencies to execute it?
• We already had that idea, honest, and were just about to run it…