the letters we sometimes wish we could send

Re-reading Victoria Routledge’s chick-lit debut Friends Like These, I found the most brilliant letter from the heroine PR exec to her client:

Dear Miranda,

I am delighted to enclose the proof of your Spring/Summer promo brochure.  We are thrilled with the finished version and hope you will love it as much as we do.  Everyone here at Dunleary & Bright is sure that this will be the breakthrough season for Detritus and that this dynamic promo will be the clinching factor in securing excellent magazine and TV coverage.

I would be amazed if you could be bothered to cast your eye over this proof and let me have any of the myriad and pointless corrections you might like to make.  I will need to pass this on to the printers by August 31st, so I won’t expect to get any indication from your office that you have actually received this until it is far too late to do anything, that is to say, late September.

When your directionless and inarticulate PA does get round to it, I will, of course be here on my direct line for personal abuse and blame-apportioning.  Please do contact me if there are any further questions I can answer, or more likely, if you require the whole thing explained to you, with diagrams.

All best wishes, Rachel Sanderson, Dunleary & Bright

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