I think I’ve come up with a fool-proof strategy to hang on to my no claims bonus - I will give extra space and consideration on the road to Cars Most Likely to Crash.
Its very simple, I’ve decided that two cars (coincidentally both superminis) are the main contenders:
The Honda Jazz (particularly any in silver). Mainly driven by people who retired a long time ago and who in my experience fall into one of two camps:
- the reluctant drivers who proceed mega cautiously, hanging onto the steering wheel for dear life, pootling along in the centre of the road so you can’t overtake and travelling at least 10 miles an hour slower than whatever the speed limit happens to be, then braking sharply for no apparent reason
- those who test their 1.2 litre engine to its limits by merrily flinging the car around country lanes well in excess of the speed limit, peering through their bifocals and wondering why people keep beeping at them (yes Grandad, I’m talking about you)
At the other end of the age range we have drivers of Vauxhall Corsas, or more specifically, 5 year old Corsas complete with dodgy body kit and filled with four lads with acne problems wearing baseball hats.
The Corsa Crew tend to appear on the roads after about 8pm and specialise in overtaking on blind corners. Handily, you hear them coming before you see them thanks to Clubland Classics 5 or some kind of Donk being played at ear splitting volume.
Has anyone got suggestions for a compulsory audio early warning system for Jazz drivers? Classic FM on full blast?